Gym etiquette, rules and guidlines

Rules, Guidlines, and Etiquette
1) Never wear under armour to the gym*....ever
2) No short shorts....i dont care if you were a runner in high school...or you need to do laundry
3) Never trust a "trainer" more out of shape than you....any dumbass can get a certification
4) Only equipment in which you've bled, drooled, or intensively sweat on, needs to be cleaned by the you
5) Yelling is obnoxious and uncalled for
6) If your fat....do cardio until you've elliminated cottage cheese legs, arms, ass, second chin
7) Only jump rope in a designated "no one can hear that shit hit the floor" area
8) If you notice someone going from 1 machine to another...ask if they are done or to work in. Dont assume they are completely finished and rearrange attachements**
9) Conversations with hot chicks are to be done when you can actually breathe or when blood can reach the rest of your limbs.
10) Never hesistate to ask something to some schmuck listening to his ipod (me included).... Rick Astleys "never gonna give you up" isnt going anywhere.
11) Feel free to get pumped before a big lift....as well as laugh at the facial features of others while lifting
12) If you have the Teen Wolf situation...cover your hairy arms!!
13) Legs are only important if your a professional athelete or wear shorts a lot
14) Never wear a jump suit or wear more than two of the same logos (unless you're sponsored by them)
15) Dont fill your damn water bottle when people are behind you.... use the golf rule
16) Never use a computer or cell phone while at the gym...business, your girlfriend, your kidnapped daughter can wait.
17) Any conversation, sex story, gossip, etc.. with a lifting buddy about his girlfriend, wife, or boss doesnt leave the gym
18) Any cigarette must be smoked at least 32 yards away from the gym entrance upon your exit 19) If your wearing boxers to the gym...save yourself some embarassment and keep legs down during al exercises.
20) Signing up for cardio machines is retarded....but dont be a dick a waste a treadmill by walking for 45 minutes
21) Time between sets should factor amount lifted, number of reps, and number of people eyeing up your machine.

*this applies to dudes only..if your a chick (and in good shape) wear whatever the F you want
**if working in...set weight back to where they were

Kids are getting dumber...

So Im on my lunch break at work, reading the local newspaper, and contained in the back section is a "teen" page. In short, they pick three random high school kids and ask them stupid questions...Please note I said "High School kids"... Anyways, they ask shit like favorite color, sports teams, food, etc... basically anything a 5 year old with down syndrome could answer... As I read one kids Q and A, I came across a response to a question that seriously bothered me for some reason. The question was "What do you do to entertain yourself when you have no money"...yes this is a stupid question to begin with... but his respose: "spend it."... Are you shitting me??? Not only does that answer not fulfill my slightest bit of intrigue with what the shithead would do with no money...but its a completely illogical answer...If you have no money to spend...how they hell is that possible? Did he just not think it through? The question at hand was clearly stated so there should have been no confusion. I would have accepted "shoot hoops", "Smash pumpkins", "jerk off", "put firecrackers on frogs", "drink a bunch of red bull and kick my sister"...something other than "spend it"...Did I mention he wants to become and engineer?

In closing, Im convinced our youth are officially becoming progressively dumber...and that scares me a little.

ABACABB....read on..

If you havent caught it... ABACABB is the blood code from Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis (when I was about 9). Sadly, I still remember it... I only reference this as a segue to explain my frustration with current video games. I dont play them, nor have I since the original Playstation made its debut and everyone my age had to have one (or else they were concidered "poor"), so out of obligation and my 9 year old reputation..I bought one with christmas money (insert "Jesus angry with my early finacial choices" joke here). With that being said... I have relatives who own x-boxs, PS3's, Wiis, etc... and despite being a sharp 24 year old now.. I just cant get it. I liked the simplicity of old school video games (and by "old school" i mean super NES, and sega [sidenote: i was born in '84]). I remember when there was 3 options of buttons and one camera angle...and everyone was perferctly happy!! I remember B was throw the football, C was run around faster, and A was dive.... do people really need a more realistic way of playing a sport with out actually getting off the couch? Does it really take 12 simultaniously pressed buttons and carpal tunnel to get Scorpion to crush someones skull? Well I think thats horseshit.. Granted Im a nobody in the relative world of video games but I know what made me happy and simplistic games that had easily discovered cheats was the way to go. I do however enjoy the new graphics and advanced picture. But what I dont get is the correlation to its level of difficulty to play. I shouldnt need to use my thumb, index finger and pinky finger to simply putt a golf ball...thats all...